At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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