Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
