I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
