Where did you get a picture of my penis
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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