all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
