You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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