No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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