i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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