everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
