He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
