Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
