You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
