also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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