dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
