I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
