Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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