yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
