i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
