when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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