do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I deserve this hangover.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
