May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
