I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
