who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
