You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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