the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
