i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
