Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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