apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
