Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
