Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
