nut hugger
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
