and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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