sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
