The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
