so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize