Say something about gay babies.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
