remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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