She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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