TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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