if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
