i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
