Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
