he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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