this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
