Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
