So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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