I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need water and some morals
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize