Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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