dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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