and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ttyl tear gas
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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