i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
