i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
