his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize