New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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