I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
