Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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