he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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