alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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