she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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