Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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