I love black thongs
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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