She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
